Loads of dog walkers use our drive which is all very nice – but one of them is bagging up their (biodegradable) dog’s poo and disposing of the black plastic bags by throwing them into our bushes/ trees/ general greenery. They have mostly landed at various inaccessible heights and there they remain in full view – and will no doubt continue to do so for hundreds of (non bio-degradable) years.

This bizarre behaviour is sending Ed and I round the twist and we find ourselves mulling over how we might identify the culprit. These range from polite notices – “Polite Notice: Please take your f*****g dog poo home with you – you moron..” to sending off the poo for DNA analysis, DNA matching every dog in the village and then dumping all the bags in the owner’s front garden!

Sadly we’re way behind the Scandinavians on this one – as I’m told that dog owners there must DNA register their dogs. So aside from catching them red-handed I’m not sure what we’re going to do about it…